I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
third nipple confirmed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
