I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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