They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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