i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Damn victory sex feels great
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
