Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
