bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
