I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
