so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
