I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
