I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
