We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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