As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize