Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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