im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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