Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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