I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
