READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
