hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
