david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
