yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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