Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
