his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
