there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
