:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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