I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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