that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
