He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
