I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
