Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
