You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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