Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
