I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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