someone threw a dead crab at me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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