I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
