It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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