have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
