The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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