No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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