If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
