Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
