Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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