do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
