Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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