i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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