Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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