Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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