You're my little dorito
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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