he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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