the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize