Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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